Saturday, December 13, 2008

a devastating set back

well, what this girl feared would happen, happened. Master told girl this morning that He had discussed with His girl "t" that He would like to add another girl and that He already had this girl in mind. "t" told Master that is He added a girl then she would leave.

this girl cried so hard that she had to turn her webcam off so Master couldn't see her crying. it hurt so bad to think that life with Master will never be 'real life'. this girl was so upset all day that she spent most of her day in bed feeling bad trying to decide what to do. several times she thought of just asking Master to release her since the possibility of becoming His for real seemed so far away.

tonight Master was late getting online at the time He had told this girl to meet Him on yahoo. girl of course was thinking that Master had decided not to show up at all now since this mornings talk. the later Master got the more girl realized how much she would miss having Him in her life if she asked to be released. this girl also realized that she does belong to Master for real even if it isn't physically in the same place at this time and there still could possibly be the chance for that just not as soon as W/we had both hoped.

girl wishes there was more she could do to feel more like she belongs to Master for real. she knows she hasn't been doing so well with her schedule the past few days due to not feeling well physically and emotionally. Master does understand this but encourages girl to push herself and still do the things she needs to do because it will help her.

Master, this girl has been happy belonging to You this past month and wishes for it to continue for as long as possible. girl knows that the possibility that she may never been near You physically is there; but there is also the possibility that it may happen as well. You do keep telling girl to look on the bright side of things so that is what she is trying to do. girl wishes "t" would understand the positive points of a poly home. this girl would so love to have a sister to share things with.

Master, this girl belongs to You completely for as long as You will have her.

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